Where God guides, he provides

It's been six months and seven days since I returned from Thailand, and not a day goes by where I don't think about those two weeks. Everywhere I go, something reminds me of the people I met and the experiences I had and how much I didn't want to come home at the end of those two weeks. While we were in Thailand, the trip leaders mentioned a return trip in summer 2009, and we all said we were going to come back.

I kept telling myself that for a while after we were back in the States, but I was hesitant to tell other people. When I would talk about my experiences and tell stories, people would nod enthusiastically and get excited for me. Then if I mentioned the possibility of going back to Thailand, they just looked at me like I was crazy. I began to wonder if I was being unrealistic or even selfish. It was such a blessing to go to Thailand last summer - who am I to ask for such a blessing two years in a row? And was it really God's will, or just mine?

And so I began to have my doubts, even when the application for this year's trip came in the mail. I still got right to work filling it out and I started finding out the details about the upcoming trip, and I was excited. But still, in the back of my mind was a voice telling me that I was being unreasonable for wanting to go back.

Then came Monday, January 12. It was one of those days where everything that could go wrong did - from the car battery dying and the jumper cables not working to the heater breaking down for the third time this winter. The icing on the cake was the news from the heating company that a new boiler would cost somewhere in the neighborhood of three grand.

I don't know of anyone who just has three grand lying around, so I started racking my brain trying to figure out how our family could come up with that money, and all I could think of were things we would have to give up...and Thailand immediately came to my mind. How could I justify spending two thousand on a trip when our family didn't have heat? That would be selfish.

Before I went to sleep that night, I tossed and turned for a while, unable to rest. So I cried out to God, and I prayed, of course, for our family to get heat back, but I also prayed about Thailand. I realized that either this was a sign from him that the trip was a definite "no" but another possibility also entered my mind...maybe Satan was trying to attack me and my family by sabotaging our heat and financial situation because of Thailand and the incredible things he knows will happen there. I finally fell asleep, discontented but hopeful still, just praying that God would give me a definite sign--and even if the answer was no, I decided that I would be obedient.

Shortly after I got home from school the very next day, my youth pastor stopped by to visit. She wanted to tell me that after our family's heat problems had been put on the church prayer chain, and when one couple heard about how much the boiler was going to cost, they immediately thought of my Thailand trip (and how they knew I was planning to go back, I'm still not sure, since I hadn't told anyone it was a definite). Anyway, this couple asked my youth pastor if they could pay for the deposit that I needed to send in with my application. She told them the amount that I needed, but just in case, they decided to send double that amount. My youth pastor had also talked to her father, my former pastor, who now pastors a church in Grand Rapids and he wants me to come speak at their church about Thailand and then take up a special offering for this year's trip.

As if that wasn't enough of a sign, within the week, a friend of the family was able to hook up new heaters for us that were a lot cheaper and are a lot more energy efficient. I am just amazed at how God can answer prayer and turn things around and work things out when we trust him and give ourselves to his will. It's rare that the answer to prayer comes the very next day, but in this case, it did. And I am trusting that where God guides, He provides. Since he is guiding me back to Thailand through the way he orchestrated my deposit, I trust that he will provide a way for me to go. And I can't wait to see what happens this summer!